Main Index

Longer Articles:


Anselm's Explanation of the Trinity
How can the Father, Son and Holy Spirit each be God, but not be each other? This is Archbishop Anselm's explanation - the best I've heard so far.

Anselm at Starbucks
A new look at Anselm's argument for the existence of God.

The Divine Inferno
Why the existance of Hell is a demonstration of God's mercy.

1000 Easter Balloons
What if, on Easter Sunday morning, after services, every church in town released yellow balloons?

Scary Meditation
What is the difference between Eastern meditation and Christian meditation?

The Golfer of the Gaps
Have you heard that our God is a "God of the Gaps," only invoked to explain increasingly small gaps in science? Here's that logic applied to golf.

Esther's Japanese Origins
Using the approved "wild extrapolation" method, I've conclusively shown that the Biblical Book of Esther is of Japanese origin.

But I Was Born That Way
When people use this excuse, why do we keep trying to talk them out of it?

Digital Reality
Is reality digital? I couldn't care less, but if it is, maybe that's one point for the theistic view.

Church Economics
It's kind of fun to see companies becoming successful using the kind of financing churches have used for ages.

Legislating Morality
You can't legislate morality! Really? If you can't legislate morality, what can you legislate?

Paganism in Christmas and Easter?
A writer thought I ought to stop celebrating Christmas and Easter. It had pagan origins, he said. So what, I replied.

Shooting the Wounded
In which I launch a diatribe against a phrase I find particularly shallow and offensive.

Evolving Computers
What computers do - or don't - show us about evolution.

Are All Religions the Same?
A Buddhist's view.

The Book of Esther's Japanese Origins

I've made a hugely important discovery about the Biblical Book of Esther, and though I'm not an archaeologist, I believe I'm using the approved method of "wild extrapolation in the face of missing evidence," so no snide comments about my lack of academic credentials.

(By the way, I know this methodology is allowable because I've heard that Moses wasn't really hidden in a basket in the Nile. They know this because there is a story about a Assyrian king - or Babylonian, or whatever, I forget - who was hidden in a river as a baby. See. Proof positive.)

Anyway, using this methodology, I've discovered that the Book of Esther has Japanese origins. That's right. I'll even cite chapter and verse.


Esther 2:5 - "Now there was in the citadel of Susa a Jew of the tribe of Benjamin, named Mordecai son of Jair, the son of Shimei, the son of Kish..."

Notice the word "Shimei." Careful linguistic analysis shows a striking resemblance to the Japanese word "Shumai," which is a common pork dish served at all fine Japanese restaurants. (I recommend it. It's better than the tempura).

Compelling though this is, I'd like to advance further evidence.

Esther 3:7 - "In the twelfth year of King Xerxes, in the first month, the month of Nisan, they cast the pur (that is, the lot)..."

I think I see the light dawning on your faces. Yes! You see the connection, even if you've never had sashimi! The word "Nisan" and the automobile maker "Nissan" is simply too close to be attributed to anything but a common origin.

For one of these items, it could perhaps be argued that coincidence was involved, but when two compelling facts such as these come together in the same book of the Bible, I think the evidence is overwhelming.

No! Not that I'm crazy.

© Copyright 2000 Brad Haugaard

“We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”
Isaiah 53:6